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A Milestone I’ve Been Dreading
In three and half months, I have already been through some hard milestones already since losing my dad. My dad passed away on my husband’s 31st birthday. Mother’s Day was that same weekend. Then came my sister’s birthday, and Father’s Day immediately after that. Boom, boom, boom. There are still many “firsts” to come that I’m not looking forward to – more birthdays and the holiday season. There is one milestone, though, that I have been absolutely dreading. Like, sick-to-my stomach, can’t think about it, won’t let my mind go there, dread. I’ve put it out of my mind with such finality that when I realized it was here, it…
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I Wish I Could Celebrate You
A few days ago, I was messaging with a friend of college, who lost her dad several years ago. We were talking about Father’s Day. She said to me, “I try to celebrate (my husband) and my father-in-law but I can’t give them what I want to, not yet.” Boy, did she hit the nail on the head. My sister, mom, and I always made Father’s Day a big deal for my dad. I can remember, from the time we were really little, meticulously thumbing through every Father’s Day card down in the grocery store, trying to find the exact right one. My sister and I would fight over who…
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How I told my Toddler about my Dad’s Death
One of the most gut-wrenching realities of my dad’s passing, was the overwhelming realization that my daughter won’t know him. Don’t get me wrong – my dad very much knew my daughter. In her two-and-a-half years of life, he spent as much time as he could with her. My daughter definitely knew (and still knows) her “Pop.” She talked to him and about him often, and brought him up in conversation even when he wasn’t around. Thinking about their relationship now, a very distinct memory comes to mind. In the first few weeks that I went back to work after maternity leave, my mom would pick my daughter up from…
